What Should You Name Your Dog?

This is a dilemma faced by all new dog parents - what do we call the dog? Will it be a human name, like Mickie, a name that describes her color, like Rusty, or a name that describes his personality, like Rascal? Whatever the name, choose wisely - you'll be yelling it across the dog park for many years to come ("Agamemnon, come!"). To help give you some guidelines, we have asked a naming expert for some advice on what to consider when naming your dog (they specialize in naming companies and products, so they can't help you name your dog, but they thought they'd offer some naming tips so that you can name your dog with confidence). Metaphor Name Consultants have written their thoughts on naming a four-legged family member. And they speak from experience - pet owners themselves, they have stared this problem right in the whiskers.

Dog Naming Basics

One of the joys of naming your beloved dog is that you don't need to consider the sentiments of your beloved Uncle Morris or your maybe-not-so beloved in-laws. Unlike naming your child - which often involves balancing the desires and interests of multiple generations of family members - naming your dog is a delightfully personal process. All you need to take into account are your tastes, and the tastes and predilections of your pooch. Although you have complete latitude to please yourself when naming your canine pal, there are a few basic tenets you should keep in mind to ensure the continued happiness of both person and pet.

Remember the Fido Factor

Dogs are faithful, true and loyal to their people. This elemental facet of canine psychology is reflected in the classic dog name "Fido," which means "faithful" in Latin. The Fido factor should be kept in mind as you consider names for your cute little puppy - remember that he or she will grow up to be a being of great dignity, deserving of respect. "Piddles" might be a cute term of affection for your three-month-old bundle of nervous energy, but it will be a term of embarrassment to your noble three-year-old wolfhound.

The Very Public Factor
Unlike names for children, dog names are meant to be shouted, loudly, for all to hear; therefore, it's important to consider the very public factor when naming your four-footed Frisbee partner. Aethelberht may be a particularly apt name for a stalwart bulldog, but it is an unwieldy name to call across the crowded park. "Bert" might be a better choice for outdoor exhortations. "Here, Bert!" is much more effective that "Here, Aethelberht!" at high volume.

Don't Name After Friends or Relatives
Naming your child after a well-loved relative or friend is a universally acknowledged sign of esteem and affection. The same sentiments are not produced by naming your pup after Aunt Dottie or best friend Ralph. It is asking a lot of the benevolence of Aunt Dottie or Ralph to subject them to years of "That's a good girl, Dottie!" or "We took Ralph in to be fixed last week…."

The Shorter the Better
Dogs respond best to short, telegraphic statements. "Down, Bugsy!" is much more likely to receive a positive response than "Please take your paws off the chesterfield, Bugsy!" And "Heel, Checkers!" is easier for the canine brain to process than "Fall in step beside me, please, Checkers old girl."

Similarly, one or two syllable dog names are best for canine comprehension. "Jojo" works better than "Empress Josephine" for the family poodle. And calling out to "Mike" is more likely to elicit a tail wag than "Yo, Michelangelo." Unlike their pedigree names, which are never meant to be used in casual address, dogs prefer short handles. However, the shorter the better factor doesn't mean you can't give your dog a lofty title. One quadruped of my acquaintance has the full given name Alfonso Léo de Vacaville, but in all but the most formal circumstances, he is known simply as "Al".

Confuse-a-Pup
A dog's understanding of human language is approximate. Consequently, to avoid the "confuse-a-pup" factor, the name you give your dog needs to be sufficiently distinct from the commands you typically direct towards him or her.

I know a delightful dog named Stacy who obligingly trots across the room to her person whenever she hears the command "Stay!" And Noel, a sweet old hound rescued by the SPCA, attacks whatever he is doing with even greater vigor when he hears the command "No! No!"

Re-Naming the Adopted Dog
Mature dogs that you adopt most often come with names they have had since puppyhood. Since dogs are creatures of habit, and since dogs take their names very seriously, in cases of adoption, usually the most practical and compassionate course is to let the adoptee keeps his or her given name. Every now and then, a rare pooch comes along who will answer as readily to "Red" as to "Alex." Most dogs, however, are faithful to their names from puppydom. "Once 'Fido' always 'Fido'" is a good maxim to remember.

Now Name That Dog
So now that you've considered the basic tenets of dog naming, how do you go about selecting the perfect appellation for your canine companion?

First, spend time with him or her. Take walks together, cuddle, watch TV, play fetch. Get to know your pal. Is he funny? Is she fearless? Is he an old-fashioned kind of pooch, or a bit of a Bohemian? Is she a ditsy dog, or a canine of intellectual distinction?

Make a list of personality traits, like goofy, affectionate, curious, cuddly, demanding, attention span of a gnat, loves to share toys, always hungry, easily embarrassed.

Now make a list of physical traits, like big, fluffy, black and brown, curly hair, big dark eyes, long waggy tail, huge paws, long legs, surprisingly quiet bark, sideways trot.

Next, consider what type of name would suit you both. As person and pet, are you old-fashioned, cutting-edge contemporary, great appreciators of classical or literary references, or fans of simple, straightforward speech?

Now that you've made a list of your dog's personality and physical traits and have considered the type of name that is most appropriate for you and your pooch, you are ready to start naming.

Based on the dog traits listed above, we could explore a variety of naming directions. For example:

What famous people (real or imaginary) are tall, dark and goofy?
Cary Grant, Dracula as portrayed by George Hamilton, Gina Davis, Moe, Bill Cosby, Sid Caesar, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Abraham Lincoln, Fox Mulder, Goofy, …

What are some simple straightforward names you associate with people that have short attention spans and always do things a little sideways?

Joey, Lola, Buck, Buster, Gigi, Moe, Dude, Moondoggie, Frankie, Gidget, Gracie, …

The name "MOE" came up in both exercises. Now take a good long look at your puppy. Is he a "Moe"? Ask him. "Moe?" Does his tail wag, do his eyes brighten? If so, you may have a dog named "Moe."

Believe it or not guess what we named our dog 9 years ago. "MOE JJ" now the "JJ" is another story we may share with you at another time.